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Jobs @ Bonodrumming.com

Public Relations Director

Responsibilities: Send frequent press releases to notable publications, radio shows and television shows regarding the progress of bonodrumming.com. Avert any controversy sparked by statements made on bonodrumming.com. Schedule important meetings with U2 higher-ups to keep them abreast of the bonodrumming revolution.

Requirements: Bachelor's degree or equivalent in Public Relations, Communications or TV/VCR Repair; must have 2 - 5 years experience representing celebrities (D-list or higher). Former employees of Michael Jackson, Tom Cruise or Courtney Love need not apply.

Fan Club President

Responsibilities: Respond to and maintain the mountains of fan mail that bonodrumming.com receives each hour. Compose a weekly newsletter detailing the new angles in which Bono can be seen drumming on the web site. Screen print hundreds of "I love bonodrumming.com T-shirts" to fulfill the brimming orders pouring in at Cafepress.

Requirements: Must have 2+ years experience as a fan club president in prior capacity (music-related candidates preferred); must have earned at least one prior restraining order for stalking a celebrity; must be skilled in the art of faking autographs; must be able to manage the requests of millions of freaks similar to onself. Former employees of Creed, Color Me Badd and Mr. Big need not apply.

Administrative Assistant

Responsibilities: To answer the switchboard at bonodrumming headquarters. Arrange for travel to and from all bonodrumming conventions and conferences. Filter all office gossip to each and every member of the bonodrumming.com staff.

Requirements: Associates degree in Secretarial Studies, Sociology or Accounting; must have 1 - 3 years of experience answering phones, greeting clients, filing nails and playing a current version of online solitare. Maggie Gyllenhaal, please apply.

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